Interesting Observation

18 Apr

Today I uploaded a video of myself performing the vagina monologue I wrote. While I first drafted it up back in January, I rerecorded myself performing it this morning, seeing as the original video of my performance has terrible audio and it’s very dark and, well, it’s just all around no watchable.

So I uploaded the video to my youtube page, but I put it under semi-private so the only people who can watch it are the people I give the url to. It’s a somewhat personal monologue delving into the details of my sex life (or lack there of). It’s not necessarily something I’m ready for the whole world to see, so keeping it on the down low seems like the better deal. There were a few people who had expressed interest in watching it, so I sent out a facebook message to those people with the link to my monologue. I then went about my day. Cut to eleven hours later, ie. right now.

I sent the video out to thirteen people. Nine girls. Four guys.

I got five responses.

Only one girl responded.

Every single guy responded.

Well, that’s not true. I got two other responses from girls. One was simply “I liked it” and the other was “yay!” and that was it. Those were the first two bits of feedback I received this morning and all I could think was, “…Dear god. I just bared a really private part of myself to my friends and these are the responses I’m getting?” I mean, the “Yay!” was a response from one of my best friends ever. What did that leave me?

But the four guys I sent it to? You might be thinking “Oh, of course they responded, you were talking for an extended length of time about your vagina”, but that wasn’t it. That wasn’t it at all. Each of these guys got back to me, and then each told me that they liked it and (better yet) why they liked it. I was genuinely shocked. I didn’t know if the subject I spoke about was one males could exactly relate to, and I thought it would end up being far too personal for any of their likings. Yet still, three of the guys personally IMed me and had conversations with me about the piece, and the fourth one wrote me up a long response in a message.

What’s really funny? One guy I haven’t seen in almost four years. The other three I’ve never actually met in person.

That’s right. They’re internet friends.

And the only girl who gave me an actual response? Also an internet friend.

So what does this mean? I’m really not sure. I doubt that this means I’m closer with my online pals than with my in person friends… but still, I can’t ignore the fact that I sent my video to some of my best, closest gal pals and none of them gave me a response (or at least any real response). The guys all gave me lovely words about my work, expressing how impressed they were with me. And  maybe I just happened to choose a really good group of guys to send it to. All four are intelligent, articulate, and sensitive…

But still. I’m confused as hell as to only one girl responded.

Weird, weird, weird.

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