Archive | July, 2012

Couldn’t We Ride?

31 Jul

Today was a great reminder that whenever I’m feeling down a splendid day waiting is waiting for me right around the corner.

Yesterday I wrote up a (whiny) entry about how lonely I am and how depressed I am and how nobody likes me and blah blah blah, whiny to the extreme. An hour after I wrote the entry I called up my father because, I don’t know, for some reason I knew he would be the only person who could cheer me up. And he was. We talked about my cat, summer, family, work, school, and such. Eventually the topic of spring break came up, and he divulged how he sometimes looks at plane ticket prices and considers running away to Italy on a whim. This shocked me because I too do this frequently. It was an eye opening moment for me as I realized that maybe my dad and I aren’t so different after all. We then discussed how much we love Tuscany and how Rome sucks and how there’s just something so nice about staying in a villa as opposed to a hotel. He then gave me his usual lecture about how, once out of college, I should take the first two years off to travel and see the world and live life, which is exactly what he did when he was my age. It’s silly to think how a couple years back this notion always made me roll my eyes as I’d say, “Whatever dad.” Now I can’t think of anything I’d rather do more than traveling this planet.

So yesterday ended on a great note, which was nice, but today?

Today was lovely.

I woke up bright and early at eight o’clock. I leaped out of bed, poured myself a cup a cup of coffee, and enjoyed last night’s Daily Show and Colbert Report. In the back of my mind, as my programs played, festered the knowledge of what I’d soon be doing. My first ever interview. No, I would not be taking this interview, I’d be conducting it. As ten o’clock drew nigh I made myself look presentable and reviewed my list of questions I had written up. ‘Deep breathes’, I kept telling myself, ‘this is going to be fun.’

And it was fun. The interview, which was done over Skype with Dave LaMattina and Chad Walker, who are working on the documentary I Am Big Bird, was an absolutely wonderful experience. It sadly had to be cut short due to the fact the guys had to run off to another meeting, but I still got twenty minutes of solid material. Of course, seeing as it was my first ever interview, I did get tongue tied at times and I think I said the words “great” “yeah” and “super” close to a billion times. But still, for my first interview? Not bad.

After this I had a calm, relaxing couple hours of television watching and sorting through stacks of papers. Nothing extravagantly entertaining, but it was nice to unwind after the interview.

At 1:30pm I took off on my bike and rode to my friend Gina’s apartment. Gina was my co-director for the Vagina Monologues last January, and we had been meaning to hang out for a while. Once both of us were ready, we made the great trek to Emigrant Lake… on our bikes.

I have never attempted this feat before. I’ve only traveled to Emigrant via car, and I was surprised the bike ride was pretty smooth sailing. It wasn’t until the lake was in sight I became out of breath and had to ask Gina to stop for a moment, as I had begun to gain tunnel vision. On the way back I felt fine the entire time, which leads me to believe that the reason I was so exhausted on the ride there was due to the fact Gina and I attempted conversation almost the entire way. Not a great idea. Talking takes up way too much energy when you’re on a bike.

Speaking of biking, I did the math and between biking to Gina’s, biking to the lake, and biking home, I biked 12.5 miles today. I have a feeling my body’s gonna hate me tomorrow.

We finally reached the lake, locked up our bike, and adventured further down to find a spot away from all the people. We finally found a nice, albeit rocky, area where we set up camp. We then proceeded to have a nice, lengthy conversation. It’s been over a month since we last saw each other, so it was lovely to catch up. We talked about grad schools, movies, boyfriends, nonexistent boyfriends, family, friends, travel, doctor appointments, the VMs, and many other things. I’m pretty sure we spent more time talking than actually in the lake, which we did spend a fair amount of time in as well. All in all, it was just an amazing time.

The beautiful view we had from where we sat.

On the way back Gina braked her bike and I nearly ran right into her. I immediately assumed something was wrong, but it turned out her eye had been caught by a blackberry bush. We then spent a good five or so minutes picking blackberries and letting the flavors explode on our tongues. It’s hard to explain, but more than our conversation, more than my first ever interview, more than the cheesecake I made later today, this was my favorite moment of the entire day. It was such a simple moment of joy.

As we biked back into town, we parted ways. I rode over to Shopping Kart and bought a slew of groceries to last me through the next week and a half.

When I got home I started whipping up the one dessert I actually know how to make well: cheesecake. My cheesecake’s are delicious. I even shook up the recipe a little bit (though sadly had to forfeit the strawberries I normally decorate my cheesecakes with as I’m sort of broke… as usual). My cheesecake is still cooling in the refrigerator (where it will stay for another hour or so). I just made chicken enchiladas, which are cooling on the stove top. These sadly look nothing like the web-site’s examples, but who knows. Maybe they’ll still be tasty…ish?

Now I’m gonna go cut me an enchilada and go watch Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, and eventually will help myself to a slice of cheesecake. Then I’m gonna delve into that interview and start editing it and such.

Sorry that this was pretty much just a super long rant about today, but I couldn’t resist. Who could possibly resist sharing all about a day like today?

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feel free to skip this entry.

30 Jul

The title of this entry says it all. What you’re about to read is a rant of me whining and being sad and just, ugh, do yourselves a favor and skip this pathetic entry.

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I don’t remember the last time I felt this utterly alone. I’ve written many a time about feeling alone or “oh, pity me, I’m shrouded in eternal loneliness!” but this is different. In the past it always circulated around me being angst-felt over boys, but this time… This time I’m talking about sheer loneliness; the feeling that your existence in this world is goes completely unnoticed by just about everyone.

Since returning to Ashland I’ve had approximately four get togethers with friends (five if you count the time Ryan and I spent a day clearing out the remains of our old house). That’s been it. Previous summers have spoiled me, because there was always something going on and someplace to go, so the few days of summer where I did get time to myself it felt like such a treat. But now? Now I barely leave my house, let alone my room. I feel like I’ve turned into this recluse. Sure, I leave to go to work, to go out running, to run errands, and to go write at a coffee shop once a week, but that is about the extent of it. I forget how essential the need for human contact is for me. I have my friends from Tough Pigs, who I love dearly, but talking to a computer screen is not the same as going out and grabbing a drink with a friend. I know I should get off my butt and ask people to do things, but I did earlier this summer and they never got back to me, which is just fodder for the lowliness that is my self esteem. It keeps taunting me. It wont stop whispering in my ear.

“They don’t want to be around you.”

“Nobody does.”

“You’re going to be alone forever.”

The fact of the matter is, I’m depressed. I am clearly in a definite state of depression right now. It’s been a while since I’ve been this depressed. I had a couple funks throughout the last school year, but none of them really lasted that long. And I know this will pass, as it always does, but I’m also in the phase where it feels like this feeling is going to last for forever.

I miss seeing people. I miss Nick. I miss having a roommate that looked forward to interacting with me on a day-to-day basis. I miss having a group of friends to drink with on the weekends. I miss having someone to crush on. I miss daily conversations that weren’t text based. I miss having fun.

This will break, I know it will, and I’ll go back to my chipper, happy self. I just don’t know when.

I think I’m going to force myself to go out on a walk later today. Clear out my mind. Get some fresh air. Something along those lines.

i woke up with this line in my head.

29 Jul

After she allowed herself five more minutes of sleep she slipped back under her covers, her legs embraced by her sheets the way a glove fits onto a hand.

I love me some comic relief characters.

28 Jul

I worked on my screenplay again today. There’s one character in it who I’m absolutely, ridiculously in love with because she is a horrible human being, which makes her so very perfect and wonderful. Here is every nickname she has uttered towards other people in the script thus far:

  • Spazz Face
  • New Face
  • Slut
  • Steve Carell
  • You son of a monkey whore
  • Asswipe
  • The 40 Year Old Virgin
  • Dildo
  • Grumpy Gus
  • Bitch-o-rama
  • SOB
  • Steve Wilkos
  • You silly fuck
  • Skank
  • Mega-douche
  • Douche-o-saurus
  • King of the douches
  • Mayor of douche-o-topia
  • Kumtwat
  • Fagasaurus
  • Señor Boyfriend
  • Paco
  • Twatwaffle
  • Bro
  • Judge Judy
  • Judge Joe Brown
  • Sexy Willie Nelson
  • Whoreface
  • Phoenix Wright
  • Barbie
  • Douchechomper
  • Beezy
  • You stupid fuck
  • A Story-Ninja
  • Donald Douche
  • Dingle Douche
  • Dick Facey

And, as an extra treat, here are my favorite quotes of hers:

“Sure you can. You’ve got a great bod. Your milkshake will bring all the boys to your yard. And by your yard I mean your vagina.”

“I don’t like sign language. It’s like people are keeping secrets from me.”

“You’re sassy like a Disney horse!”

“What bullshit. Canadians can’t be Jewish. Everybody knows that.”

“Get yourself a publisher. Or an agent. And meet JK Rowling! Oh my god, you could be the next JK Rowling! And then you and JK could gang up on Stephanie Meyer and punch her in the cunt!”

“I am the Seth Rogen of your life!”

Oh Delilah Kubrick. Please become a real person and be in my life always.

“If Rick Moranis was there I’d be very much impressed.”

Taking a Stance || Why More People Should Go to the Movies by Themselves

27 Jul

Warning: this entry proves that college has turned me into a cynical, grumpy, anti-social fuck.

Ever since I saw the trailer for Safety Not Guaranteed only a month or so ago I knew I wanted to see it. An indie film starring Aubrey Plaza and the hot guy who makes turtle faces on New Girl that’s all about time travel? Sign me up! I posted a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to tag along yesterday to see it with me, but did not garner any response. After some deliberation today on my morning run I decided to fuck it all and go see it anyway by my lonesome.

After a brief awkward transaction between me and the dude working at the theater counter – where I got to avoid eye contact and pretend he didn’t know me or the fact that I was at one point roommates with someone who worked there and quit pretty aggressively – I went down that little alleyway in the back to get to my designated theater. As I entered the movie theater, I was slightly shocked to see it was empty. Not a soul in sight. I took up residence in the center seat and I contemplated whether seeing a movie by myself in a theater all to myself was either super lonely or super bad ass.

I decided on super bad ass.

I was getting accustomed to this idea of having the movie theater to myself. I could laugh as loud as I wanted, scream profanity at the screen, sob if the moment arouse, kick up my feet, and not give a single fuck because there would be no one there to mind. Of course, a minute after becoming psyched to be alone, an older couple came in… then another older couple… and then, finally, one last older couple. I was irrefutably bummed out.

Before I get into my rant that only goes to further prove my anti-social tendencies, I will say this: Safety Not Guaranteed is fan-fucking-tastic. It’s a charming little piece with a whole lot of heart. Aubrey Plaza plays a character who shares some definite traits with April Ludgate, but is also definitely not a clone of everyone’s favorite pessimistic secretary. The plot was lovely, all the characters were likeable, lots of character growth happened (at least among two of the main characters), and, yeah, all around lovely piece. If you can, go see it soon, because it’s probably not long for theaters.

Anyway, back to complaining.

As I sat surrounded by these three older couples (I was, quite literally, the only person under fifty in that theater), I began contemplating why people don’t go to the movies by themselves more often. I mean, sure, if a group of people, or even a couple, want to see the same movie, then yeah, going accompanied makes sense. But it seems to me that going by yourself makes even more sense. Here’s my train of thought:

  1. There is nothing more annoying than people loudly talking to each other during a movie (there was a woman in the theater today who would not shut up). I’m unfortunately one of those people who does not have the guts to turn around and ask, “Will you please be quiet?” So instead I get to fume in my chair and be grumpy the rest of the time. When you go by yourself, not only are you not taking away from other people’s moving going experiences, but you don’t get distracted by whomever you’re with in conversation and end up missing a good chunk of the film. (Side note: my dad seems to think his whisper’s a lot quieter than it actually is, so whenever we see a film together he always ends up talking loudly. It makes me feel awful for everyone around us.)
  2. Going on dates to movies have never made much sense to me. Unless you’ve been dating this person for a long time or you’re just killing time or, I dunno, you wanna make out in the movie theater, it doesn’t make any sense. I mean, I’ve done it before, and that’s why I know it doesn’t make sense. You’re not interacting with the person you’re with. You’re not getting to know each other. You’re just sitting in a dark theater watching a film. It’s different than, say, watching a movie/TV show at home together, because there’s a lot more room for interaction in those circumstances. Plus there’s a pause button. The first date I ever went on back in my junior year of high school was to see a movie, and it is probably the most boring date I’ve ever been on (no offense, Chris, if you’re reading this. Totally had a huge crush on you at the time, but yeah, going to see that TMNT movie wasn’t exactly my ideal date).
  3. Seeing a film by yourself gives you more leeway in being yourself. As I mentioned before when I thought I had the theater to myself so I could laugh loudly and cry if need be, it pretty much applies to going to films by myself. Have you ever seen a film with someone and had to hold in a laugh at a really inappropriate part of the movie for fear of offending the party you’re with? I have. I’ve also had to hide the fact that I’ve cried at a film way too many times. When you go by yourself you don’t really give a fuck who you offend when you laugh and you certainly don’t care about holding back tears.
  4. This one might just be me, but I’m in the bad habit where I glance nonstop and whomever I’m with to see if they’re enjoying/disliking the film as much as I am. This, in short, takes me out of the film far too many times, which sucks.
  5. My absolute favorite thing about seeing films alone is that you get to contemplate the film you saw when you’re done. After seeing Safety today I got to make my twenty minute walk home all by myself, allowing me to think on the story I had just been presented with. Same goes for when I saw The Descendants back in January. Hell, the first movie I ever saw by myself was The Namesake, and I remember going to a park and walking around and just getting lost in thought over the film. Isn’t that the purpose of film? To make us contemplate life and think about the larger questions? I guess some films exist purely for entertainment, but the films that make you wonder… there’s no denying how lovely of an experience that is.

I’m not saying people should stop going to see movies with other people all together. I know I’m not. I’m almost certain that whatever I end up seeing next I will, without a doubt, be accompanied by someone else. I’m just saying if there’s a movie you really want to see… well, maybe try going to it by yourself. Who knows. You might have a great time.

And yeah, maybe this whole entry was written solely because I’m trying to prove to myself that I’m totally fine with my ‘always-go-to-the-movies-together’ buddy now living in another country, leaving me to have no one to drag to the theater, but maybe this is a good thing. Maybe from now on my movie going buddy can just be me. And I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. Not at all.

My Seven Favorite Disney Soundtracks

26 Jul

I’ve been meaning to write this entry ever since the beginning of July when a group of high school friends and I got together for a day of Disney marathoning. Most people might find the idea of a group of girls, ranging from twenty to twenty-two in age, sitting around in sleeping bags and geeking out over these animated features strange, but not us. I grew up with these movies, as I know the rest of the girls did, so rewatching them all in one sitting felt a bit like coming home.

While rewatching all these films, I couldn’t help but focus on the music aspect of each one (it’s hard not to when you’ve got eight girls screaming the lyrics to every song). I then decided to write up an entry on my favorite Disney soundtracks.

(Side note: These are all just animated features. If not, then Newsies would be on here.)

Aladdin is on here because, like every other soundtrack on this list, every song in it is a home run. From ‘Arabian Nights’ to ‘A Whole New World’, this soundtrack is stellar. The weakest song is probably the ‘Prince Ali (Reprise)’ and I don’t even skip that one when it pops up on my iTunes shuffle. Disney did it right by recruiting the one and only Alan Menken (ie. the man I wish would compose the soundtrack of my life) to act as the composer, with lyricist duties given to the amazing Howard Ashman and Tim Rice. Rice went on to win an Oscar for ‘A Whole New World’, and Menken won the Oscar for Best Score. You can’t go wrong with a soundtrack that’s got Lea Salonga’s voice; not to mention Robin Williams nails both of his Genie songs. And, honestly, what small child didn’t run around their house singing “One Jump (Reprise)” to themselves? What? That was just me? I see how it is…

Another Menken-Ashman collaboration masterpiece. This soundtrack won both Best Score and Best Song (‘Beauty and the Beast’) at the Oscars the year it was released. This is a gorgeous soundtrack, with a beautiful score and a wonderful voice cast. Paige O’Hara’s Belle is lovely, Jerry Orbach’s Lumiere is fun, and – for god’s sake – it’s got Angela fucking Lansbury in it. The ‘Belle (Reprise)’ remains to be one of my favorite songs to emote to.

As most Disney fanatics know, The Little Mermaid was the start of the Disney Renaissance (ie. the era where Disney put out amazing movie after amazing movie, lasting from the late 80’s until about 2000). It also was the first Disney feature Alan Menken was hired to score, and, you guessed it, collaborated with Howard Ashman (though the two had worked prior on the stage musical Little Shop of Horrors). Little Mermaid is probably my favorite of this group of soundtracks. I could take or leave ‘Fathoms Below’, but you seriously cannot go wrong with a soundtrack that has ‘Part of Your World’, ‘Kiss the Girl’, ‘Under the Sea’ (which won Best Song (the film winning Best Score as well)), and ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’. This is also my favorite of all the Disney scores. Whenever I listen to the track ‘Main Titles’ I get all choked up when the music swells at the end of it. This soundtrack is just lovely music at its finest.

I remember being a kid and my mother verbally expressing distaste for this movie. Whether it was because it was so different from the original source material (which would understandably tick off my English teacher mother) or because it was much darker/grittier than the past Disney films, I’m still not entirely sure. But this movie has, without a doubt, one of the loveliest soundtracks out there. With Alan Menken composing and Stephen Schwartz taking up the reins as lyricist (by this point Howard Ashman had passed away from AIDs), the two present a truly amazing score. ‘Hellfire’ is irrefutably one of the best songs has ever made, which I doubt Disney will ever admit to due to the song’s inappropriate for children feel. It’s also got ‘Heaven’s Light’, ‘Out There’, ‘The Bells of Notre Dome’, and ‘God Help the Outcasts’. The score was nominated for an Oscar but, alas, it did not win that year. Also, you really can’t go wrong with Tom Hulce singing, like, at all.

Everyone loves The Lion King. If you say you don’t, you’re a liar. What’s more, everyone loves the songs in this film. And guess what! It wasn’t done by Alan Menken! I know, I’m as shocked as you are. This gorgeous score was done by Hans Zimmer, with the delightful Tim Rice and Elton John on lyrics. It features many wonderful vocal talents (Nathan Lane being my favorite), and every song and track is pretty much a win. I’d list off all my favorite songs, but that would be, um, all of them, so I’ll save myself the trouble. (Fun fact! During the recording of ‘Be Prepared’ Jeremy Irons’ voice gave out, so Jim Cummings (ie. Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Ray the firefly, Pete (Mickey’s enemy), Steele from Balto, and pretty much a character in every animated thing you’ve ever watched because, holy fuck, he’s awesome) came in and finished singing the song for Irons.)


I remember being eight and going into the movie theater to see Mulan. I was not excited. Leading up to this film all I had seen was a teaser for it that did not go in-depth into the plot. Well, it did, I was just a dumb kid and didn’t pick up on it. All I took away from the trailer is that a big war happens and… yeah, that’s all I was expecting  (again: dumb kid was I). Of course, by the time the movie was over I was in love with it, and what really helped was the fact that Mulan has such a kick ass soundtrack. Scored by Jerry Goldsmith, with lyrics by Matthew Wilder and David Zippel, the soundtrack has such memorable songs as ‘I’ll Make a Man Out of You’, ‘Reflection’, and ‘A Girl Worth Fighting For’. Not to mention they brought Lea motherfucking Salonga back, which is just the best.


I love, love, love, love, LOVE this soundtrack. It’s my favorite thing to put on when I’m biking. Or working out. Or walking. Or, well, doing just about anything. With a score by Mark Mancina score and songs by Phil Collins (who took the Oscar for ‘You’ll Be In My Heart’ (sorry South Park)), this is a gorgeous piece of art. The funny thing is that, out of all the soundtracks on this list, this is the only one where most of the songs are not sung by characters, but rather serve as background music, which works perfectly. The only two songs that integrate the characters from the film is the short version of ‘You’ll Be In My Heart’ (Glenn Close) and the whole ‘Trashing the Camp’ scene (which, oddly enough, is the only song I can’t stand on the entire soundtrack. There’s even a cover of it done by N*Sync on the soundtrack. Why the hell does that exist?). But seriously, ‘Strangers Like Me’ is one of the greatest songs ever, and there is no better power song than ‘Son of Man’.

patton oswalt.

25 Jul

I have such a lady boner for Patton Oswalt.

I realize this is a rather pointless entry, as I wrote a much better, much more detailed entry that mentioned this infatuation already, but screw you.

Actually, I’ve noticed how this summer there tends to be a routine. Six out of seven entries a week are bland, boring, annoying, whiny and so one, and then one a week is pretty good. Well. Oh well.

Back to watching Patton Oswalt’s stand up!