Archive | October, 2012

An Uneventful Halloween.

31 Oct

I’m sort of disappointed by the lackluster that was Halloween this year.

For starters, my first two classes of the day were canceled. Normally this is much reason for joy and celebration, but I was quite looking forward to showing off my costume to the world. Nevertheless, I dragged my sorry ass back to my house and took a two hour nap. Once I awoke I watched the newest Walking Dead episode (I’m officially all caught up on that show) and then Nightmare Before Christmas.

My third and final class of the day was cut to less than an hour long, so not much happened there. I did get to have dinner with Cat at Casa del Pueblo, which was nice.

And now I’m stuck at work. I’ve watched Fido and am currently watching Dracula: Dead and Loving It (which I realize are pretty shitty Halloween movies, but whatever, they’ve been in my Netflix queue for ages now). Probably will go home and watch Donnie Darko once work is over.

So… yeah… Halloween’s kind of a dud this year. I’m looking forward to next year when I’ll be up in Portland and Halloween won’t be a school night – seeing as there will be no school at that point.

Anyway, here are the two Halloween costumes I put together this year: Walter (the new Muppet) and Ellie Sattler.

Hi-ho, guys! Yaaaaaay!


What is this? 1978?

“Mr. Hammond, I think we’re back in business.”

Gettin’ real tired of your shit, Mr. Hammond.


like crazy.

25 Oct

I just watched the film Like Crazy; a film I’ve been dying to see ever since I witnessed the trailer almost a year ago. I knew going into this film it’d be a sad one, and I see now that I was correct in thinking so.

On the one hand, it’s got me bummed because the plot revolved around a long distance relationship. My ex and I were separated for only a summer when we were together, but even in just those three months I allowed the relationship to crumble and crack. So seeing this film depict the struggles of a long distance relationship… Oof. Like a punch in the gut.

On the other hand, this movie has enforced what I already know – that I’m ready to be back in a relationship. A part of me doesn’t want to make the effort, since I know I’ll be out of Ashland in eight months. Also, I seem to have forgotten how to do this whole thing. Dating. Asking guys out. Flirting. That whole spiel. I’ve just drawn so much into myself that the idea of me approaching a guy seems… unimaginable. It doesn’t help that there isn’t anyone in my life I’d like to be with either. At this point though, I wouldn’t mind a short lived relationship. A “fling,” as it were. If I could just have someone, for the remainder of the school year, to hold my hand during the day and hold me in his arms at night, that would be perfectly lovely. It’s just been so long since I’ve felt that crazy amount of energy and passion when you meet eyes or your fingertips touch. I miss romance. I miss passion. I miss putting my heart out on the line, but it’s been broken so many times that I’m scared to put it out there again. There’s so much I want though.

I just wish someone would see me.

not a bad day.

23 Oct

I’ve come to dislike Tuesdays so far this school term. It’s the day with my two least favorite classes, and I usually don’t get home until 6:30pm and have absolutely no energy. So I’m pretty surprised that today has turned out to be pretty great.

I got up early and went on my usual Tuesday morning run, which went well, and then was able to catch up on some television shows before heading off to class. My first class was Grammar & Style, which I suppose has gotten better lately. I feel like ever since my teacher read my last paper she understands me as a person and respects me as a writer. Today was awkward since my normal seat was taken, so instead of sitting in the front row I ended up sitting right next to: A) Annoying Profanity Chick who I ranted about last week, and B) the cute guy in my class. You’d think sitting next to cute grammar boy would be a perk, but I recently found out (through the power of Facebook stalking) that not only is he in a relationship, but he’s in a relationship with a friend of mine. Cute boy and I still ended up being partners and sharing our in-class sentences, and then we talked about Jurassic Park… so… yeah… it doesn’t hurt to just look, right? I’ll just have to bite my tongue and resist the urge to yell at him, “HOLY FUCK, I LIKE YOUR FACE.”

Then I went to my Intro to Drawing class, which I’ve been having even larger problems with than my Grammar class. The first couple weeks just weren’t good for me. I’m not an artist. Well, not that kind of artist. I’m a photographer. I can doodle, but actually draw? Not so much. So with the first couple weeks focusing on drawing negative space, obscure shapes, and the like, it’s fair to say I’ve been struggling; especially with everyone else in the class being pretty damn good at drawing, making my work like a nine year old’s. Last week was slightly better though, because we moved onto drawing nude models. Glad to know doodling people since high school has finally come in handy.

Another reason Intro to Drawing’s been an overall meh experience for me is that I don’t really have friends in it. For the most part everyone’s a freshman and… I dunno. I just feel like an old fart taking the class. Also, I’ve been pretty convinced that the teacher’s tolerating me because he knows I’m only taking the class to fulfill a requirement.

Anyway, I get to class early today, and a couple of the girls were talking about the possibility of snow in Ashland. I ended up chiming in, since I’ve been in Ashland for four years now and know what the winters here are like. Suddenly one of the girls asks, “What’s a Browncoat?” I realize she’s seen my ‘BROWNCOATS FOR OBAMA’ button on my tote bag, so I tell her about Firefly. Another girl, a really sweet freshman, became really excited when she saw my button, but then becomes truly ecstatic once she saw that I also had a ‘LANNISTERS FOR OBAMA’ button. I told her all about the web-site, which led to us geeking out about Obama and Joss Whedon. At this point my teacher, who’s been standing near us this whole time, reveals that he’s been eavesdropping. He asks us to explain Firefly, so I give him the “it’s a Western set in space” spiel, and the other girl chimes in and we do our best to explain it. We then end up talking about Obama and how we don’t know what the hell will happen to this country if Romney wins. From the way the conversation went, I’m now at least certain my teacher doesn’t dislike me as a person.

The teacher proceeded to let us out eight minutes into class time (still no idea why he didn’t just email us).

When a three hour class is canceled, there is much reason for rejoicing. On my way out another girl from the class and I bonded over how much we love the weather right now. Class being canceled gave me time to actually run to the store and pick up some essential food items to last me till next week (ie. my next payday). On my way to/from the store I reviewed the Italian flashcard app on my iPhone because, yeah, I’m finally trying to teach myself Italian. I then came home, where I have since finished a final draft of a paper, my one point perspective Intro to Drawing homework, and gathered quotes for a (short) paper that’s due Thursday.

Basically, today’s been pretty stellar. I’ve got all my homework due tomorrow done now, so I think I’m gonna go make myself a salad and watch Jurassic Park and The Walking Dead. Maybe do some more work on my Halloween costume and see if I can get that Rosetta Stone download to work.

If all Tuesdays were like today, I’d be okay with that.

An Accurate Depiction of What it’s Like to Read the Series of Unfortunate Events books.

21 Oct

Poe: You’re totes gonna be safe with this new relative.

Me: Based on everything that’s happened so far, why would you assume that?

Relative: You kids are obviously dumb for thinking that this person who has recently become apart of our lives under some pretty sketch circumstances is Count Olaf.

Me: Um. No. Shut up.

Olaf: I’m so gonna win this time.

Me: Yeah, see, there are more books in the series, so I seriously doubt that.

Poe: Yeah, that’s obviously not Count Olaf in disguise.


The Baudelaires: We have friends now! Nothing can go wrong!


Relative: Well allowing this stranger I’ve just met to adopt you in the case of my death/lack of interest in you/you get expelled/etc. makes perfect sense.


The Baudelaires: Look at those people doing sketchy things. Good thing they’re not any of Count Olaf’s associates.


Poe: Nope. We can’t run after Olaf. It’s too dangerous.


The Baudelaires: Hmmm, I wonder why there’s a secret tunnel under our house which was mysteriously burnt down before we had to go live with Count Olaf. Oh well. Not important.

Me: NO.

The Baudelaires: Oh, don’t worry about giving us this important piece of information. You can just give it to us later because nothing’s gonna go wrong.


Snicket: I’m going to keep referencing Beatrice and then NOT TELL YOU ANYTHING.


last night revelation.

20 Oct

Last night I was walking home from work; hands shoved deep inside my coat pockets and head bowed low. As I walked, drenched in rain drops and soaked in frigid night air, I began to review all the kisses I’ve ever had. I do this sometimes, when my mind lacks substance to think upon. I thought about every single kiss.

The drunk kisses. The stage kisses. The screen kisses. The friend kisses. The real kisses.

Then, at the end of the list of lips I’ve ever encountered, I came to yours. Your kiss. As I thought long and hard about all the shit I went through when it came to me and you, I began to think how your kiss was the one that changed everything. How yours was the first kiss that made me believe that there is more to life. How your kiss was the first that ever made me see fireworks. How your kiss was the first that ever left me wanting something more.

How could I still be mad at the boy who made me a believer?

And that’s when I stopped dead in my tracks. I stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, allowing the rain to pelt my shoulders and hair, not even wondering if the cars passing by were curious as to why I was frozen in place. I did not wonder because my mind was preoccupied. I was in awe. I was in shock. Yes, my mind was reeling because I had come upon a sudden realization:

I am ready to forgive.

Maybe it’s because I saw you today. Maybe it’s because it’s been a year and five months since it all crumbled into nothing. Maybe it’s because I finally feel ready to be in a relationship again. Maybe it’s because I thought the Mountain Goats song blaring on my iPod was a sign that it was time.

So there it is.

It is time to forgive.

It is time to move on.

Annoying Profanity Chick.

19 Oct

There’s a girl in my Grammar & Style class who I positively cannot stand.

Now, before I get into this, I’d like to state that there aren’t many people I purposefully dislike. There are people every now and again who I can’t stand, but for no good reason. Their being just displeases me, but because I can accept that me disliking them for no good reason is dumb I usually just keep it to myself. To quote Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” I know there are people out there who dislike me for no real reason, so, y’know, that’s just life.

But then there’s this girl – this girl whose name I don’t even know.

I’ve promptly dubbed her “Annoying Profanity Chick.”

Let me explain.

On the very first day of class, our teacher – who is one of the kindest, most enthusiastic about grammar people you will ever meet – was going over the guidelines to everything we’d accomplish in the course of the next ten weeks. When she got to the subject of the papers we’ll be writing, she went over the rules and what she’ll be looking for in them. Pretty straight forward. She asked if there were any questions, and this one girl two rows away from me raised her hand.

“How do you feel about profanity in our papers?”

This struck me as an odd question. Profanity’s not necessarily something you use in a school paper. I jumped to the conclusion she was a freshman taking command of her opportunity to use profanity as often as humanly possible, seeing as she was no longer in high school.

My teacher smiled and told her that, while not preferable, if the situation called for it, yes, profanity could be acceptable in these papers.

“Good. Because I swear a fucking lot.”

This was when I knew I couldn’t stand her.

Since that first class, I don’t think a single class period has gone by where she hasn’t swore profusely. I’d like to make it clear that I have nothing – abso-fucking-lutely nothing – against swearing. I think profanity is a powerful piece of language, and when used really emphasizes the point you are trying to make. The fact of the matter is, if you’re a long time follower of this blog, then you know that I love to swear. I swear all the goddamn time. In fact, the first paper we wrote in our Grammar & Style class? I said “shit” in it. Twice. And got an A.

Here’s the difference between Annoying Profanity Chick and me. When I use profanity, I use it for a purpose. Back when I was a freshman, sure, I over used profanity a bit. Now I know better. The thing is, this girl? She isn’t a freshman. She’s my age. And it praticularly bothers me because it’s very obvious that my teacher does not approve of an over abundance of swearing, but is too sweet to say anything. It’s not that she’s totally against the act. There was a guy in class last week who called a writer we read an asshole, and she laughed, because by using the language he was pointing out a fact. This girl, however, throws her “fuck”s and “shit”s around like nobody’s business. I know we’re in college now and the great thing about college is you wont get in trouble for keeping your language PC as opposed to high school, but that doesn’t mean you should abuse your power of language.

And, y’know, it’s not even that she does it all the time. If it rolled off her tongue, almost as if it were infused to her everyday vocabulary, it probably wouldn’t bother me. But she throws profanity around as if she’s doing it only to piss everyone off.

Girl, if this is your mission, congratulations. It’s worked.

There are other reasons I’ve grown to dislike her as well, ranging from her responding to people not using correct grammar by saying “I want to stab [them] in the eye with a paperclip” (a direct quote), and the other day we were assigned to a group together and she refused to be productive. Ridiculous.

Profanity is a great way to emphasize a point you are trying to make… when you use it right.

In short, if I make it through the rest of this term without “stabbing her in the eye with a paperclip” I deserve a motherfucking award.

My Jurassic Park Craze.

12 Oct

This just in world: I love Jurassic Park.

If you don’t think Sattler’s the perfect woman then screw you.

Now, I’m sure you probably haven’t picked up on this fact just yet. It’s not like I’ve been flooding my tumblr with Jurassic Park quotes and .gif photosets, spazzing out about it in Facebook statuses, writing up featured articles about Jurassic Park sequels that were never made, and so on and so forth. And I’m most certainly not going to Goodwill tomorrow to compile an Ellie Sattler costume to wear on Halloween. That’d be ridiculous.

But yes, I am in love with a movie I thought I would never even like. I didn’t see Jurassic Park for the first time until a little less than one month ago. Most people watch Jurassic Park when they’re young (like my brother, who bragged about sneaking it at a friend’s house back when we were little kids), but I never hopped on that train. As a kid I took one look at that film and knew, were I to watch it, I’d cry from sheer fear. I may not have been a bright kid, but I knew what was up. Dinosaurs eating people? Not something I wanted to watch. So I avoided the film from a young age, opting for Disney and Don Bluth movies instead. As I grew older I was never presented with an opportunity to watch Jurassic Park, so since it never crossed my path it never crossed my mind either.

Come this last September. I’m at the beach with my father on a three day vacation, and we’re inside a bookstore. I’ve already got the book I want to buy clutched in my hands (Handmaid’s Tale), but I’m browsing around still while my father contemplates what book he wants to buy for himself. As I wander the aisles, my eyes land on a hardbound, shiny cover with a dinosaur on it. I stare at it for a while as a question hangs over my head: Why have I never seen Jurassic Park before?

My dad buys his book (can’t remember what it was) and then offers to buy mine. We walk around Cannon some more and, eventually, head to our beach house. After we get back to the house we walk down the road to a tiny, blue market. In the back of this tiny market is an even tinier room, where the walls are laced with DVDs. It’s not much, as the room is so small, but there are still enough options that my dad and I are left arguing about what to rent for the next fifteen minutes. We finally agree upon The Prestige. Before we go my gaze shift towards the area where the VHS’s are, and my eyes instantly connect with a Jurassic Park VHS. Without thinking I snatch it up and wave it in my dad’s face. “Can I rent this too?” I ask loudly. He thinks this action is strange – but, then again, he thinks pretty much everything I do is strange – and agrees.

We get home and I immediately throw Jurassic Park in the VHS player. I can’t explain this sudden, strong urge that has consumed me. All I know is that I need to watch the film NOW. I don’t even turn it off when my cousin and his three year old son come back from their day at the beach (probably because instead of asking me to turn it off, my cousin encouraged his son to watch the film as well. Good parenting right there). From the start till the end I am hooked. Every line of dialogue, every plot twist, every dinosaur captivates me. My breath even hitches a bit when the T-Rex is seen in full view the first time. It’s extraordinary.

For the next few days I don’t think much on the film. It’s in the back of my mind, but the sudden urge to consume the film has died down. My dad and I head back to Portland, I get a tattoo, and life is grand. After a couple days my dad heads down to Ashland with me to catch some plays before I start up my fifth and final year of college. One day we’re in Bloomsbury Books together and I see a paperback copy of Jurassic Park. I buy it, of course, and from there… well, from there I’m not really sure what the hell happens. I think the Jurassic Park Builder app on my iPhone, which I discovered at breakfast one morning when I was out with my dad, really didn’t help, because I kind of haven’t stopped playing it in the last three weeks. I got the second and third Jurassic Park films from Netflix (confirming that neither are as good as the first), and then I received the first movie from Netflix. I then watched it once for three days in a row, and am currently waiting for the DVD that I ordered from amazon to arrive in the mail.

Needless to say, I’m used to this. Obsessing. I’ve become quite the expert since late elementary school when Harry Potter and fanfiction entered my life. But the question is not why obsess, but simply this: why Jurassic Park?

Here’s what I figure:

  1. I’m making up for missing my dinosaur phase. In my opinion, almost every kid goes through a dinosaur phase (most of them continue to go through it throughout the rest of their lives too). My brother had a dinosaur phase. I remember he had all the toys and books, and just absolutely loved them. Not me though. Oh sure, I played with him and his toys, and I loved the movies We’re Back and Land Before Time, but I never really cared much for them. Probably because they terrified me. So this could easily be me making up for missing out on that as a kid.
  2. The character’s are all fucking great. Except Nedry, but he’s supposed to be a shit, so whatever. I love all the characters though. Grant’s a worthy lead, with his love of dinosaurs and, at same time, apprehension of them. Ellie’s funny and gorgeous, and at the same time a total bad ass. Malcolm’s fun and has so many great one liners. Even Hammond is likable; you can’t help but feel sorry for him come the end of the film. Usually I don’t like it when kids are thrown in to add diversity to a cast, but Lex and Tim not only work well, but add to the story too (unlike the kids in the following two films, who only serve to annoy me). Also, on a side note, I really like the level of romance Jurassic Park takes on in each of its films, wherein that there are romantic relationships, but they never pull focus from the film. In action movies we’re supposed to get the big romantic kiss at the end. It’s what’s expected. In Jurassic Park, it’s well established that Ellie and Grant are a thing, but instead of getting caught up in the moment of their reunion and making out, they’re constantly running and worrying about their lives, like, y’know, real fucking people. Same goes for the less stellar relationships in the following two films. It’s just refreshing to see characters act reasonably in this retrospect.
  3. Well made film; well told story. I’ve yet to start the book yet, but if it’s better than the movie then I know I’m going to fall absolutely in love with it.
  4. It’s fun. Simple as that.

So how long will my Jurassic Park craze last? Who knows, but while it’s alive and kicking I’m gonna make the most of it. I plan on starting the book sometime soon (which I’ve been saying for the last three weeks… dumb school), and I’m going to be watching Jurassic Park with a friend this Sunday (dinosaur party!). So yes. Dinosaurs are awesome. The end.

Now to end this entry properly, I bequeath to you the single funniest moment of Jurassic Park:

My Fall Term Thus Far.

9 Oct
  • Advanced Composition: I keep saying this is my least favorite class of the term, but I don’t think that’s the case. While the homework we’ve been assigned so far has been suck-tastic (and the class is set at a shit time of the day when we all should be napping), at least the teacher’s a really nice guy and the debates we have in class are at least interesting enough to get me to stop doodling dinosaurs.
  • Grammar and Style: I’m pretty sure my teacher thinks I don’t give a fuck about this class and am only taking it to fulfill a class requirement… which I am.
  • Scene Design: This class as a whole is all right, but I’m really not a fan of physically being there, cause, y’know, having a class with a group of people who used to be your friends and now ignore you is always so much fun.
  • Digital Media Foundations: Probably my favorite class of the term. Any class that requires me to use photoshop and tumblr all at the same time is okay in my book.
  • Intro to Drawing: I almost cried in class today. I think my teacher assumes I half assed my homework before class today, but I didn’t. I spent legitimate time on it over the weekend, and I honestly tried. There’s a distinct difference between not trying and being awful at something, and I’m clearly in the latter group. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve muttered under my breath, “God, I miss Photography.”

In other news: I miss Nick, I don’t think cute Russian boy is going to ever text me again – and I’m strangely okay with that, I’m doing Playbill Dramaturg again, and I’m obsessed with Jurassic Park.

And this has, overall, been a pretty shitty entry. My apologies. I’m tired and I’ve got a paper to finish BSing.

I never thought I’d say this, but I miss summer. While I was lonely during summer, at least I had a lot of free time. Now I’m both stressed AND lonely. The only good thing about this term so far is that the weekends have been excellent. The first weekend I went up to Portland and ran a 5k with Nate, last weekend Nick appeared and we watched all of Breaking Bad, and this weekend Beckah and I are having a dinosaur movie party. So, if the weekends keep being this awesome, then maybe I’ll survive. Just maybe.

he’s back.

2 Oct

You never realize someone’s become your world until you have to say goodbye to them, and you’ll never truly know the definition of gratification until you have them back in your life.

The end of the summer bucket list.

1 Oct

Well, September is officially over, meaning my 2012 Summer Bucket List has drawn to a close. All together I finished 40 things on the list, which isn’t bad when you consider I usually only finish 15 or 20 by the end of summer. There were a few others I was close to finishing (Halloween costume, 5000 puzzle, movie watching, etc.) and others I meant to get around to but, alas, never found the time.

I think I might make a Fall 2012 Bucket List, then transfer some of the things left on this list over to that one. If I do it’ll probably be made up of 50 things instead of 100.

Anyway, here’s everything I was able to accomplish:

Let’s Enjoy Life, Shall We?

  1. Watch a sunset
  2. Watch a sunrise
  3. Go on a hike
  4. Go to the beach
  5. Write a message in a bottle and send it out at sea
  6. Throw a themed birthday party
  7. Meet up with a fellow Tough Pig-er
  8. Have a picnic with friends
  9. Go out dancing
  10. Paint a picture
  11. Go to Emigrant lake multiple times
  12. Do a photoshoot
  13. Go stargazing
  14. Go horseback riding
  15. Build a fort with blankets and pillows
  16. Stay in bed for an entire day
  17. Spend an entire day reading one whole book cover-to-cover
  18. Write a will
  19. Make out
  20. Go camping
  21. Roast hot dogs and/or marshmallows around a campfire
  22. Buy flowers and leave them on a random doorstep
  23. Leave little positive notes inside of books in a bookstore
  24. Reverse pickpocket someone
  25. Pull an allnighter
  26. Write “Bad Wolf” in twenty-five random places around town
  27. Perform slam poetry for an audience
  28. Visit Acid Castles
  29. Have a water balloon fight
  30. Go to the Portland Zoo
  31. Go to Powells
  32. Play the new Nancy Drew game with Aileen
  33. Meet someone new
  34. See Jim Gaffigan perform
  35. Do the color run
  36. Have a TREAT YO SELF day
  37. Make a summer playlist on my iPod

Feeling Crafty

  1. Do five crafts
  2. Make an “I Am The Lawr” shirt for Les Miz movie premiere
  3. Learn how to make fun drinks
  4. Make Halloween costume
  5. Make squirrel sock puppet
  6. Make a “shit Muppet fans say” video
  7. Take a picture every day

I’ll Be Watching You

  1. Watch 172 movies (120/172)
  2. Rewatch Frasier, Community, 30 Rock, Modern Family, & Parks and Rec
  3. Start/finish four new TV shows
  4. Lord of the Rings marathon
  5. Rewatch Game of Thrones
  6. Rewatch LOST
  7. Have a John Adams series marathon followed up with 1776
  8. Watch every single Muppet feature/special/documentary/TV show
  9. Beat a video game

Keeping My Mind In Shape

  1. Read 15-20 books (12/15)
  2. Read all Sarah Ruhl plays
  3. Learn to braid hair
  4. Start learning basic guitar
  5. Learn to say “I love you” in 100 languages
  6. Find a freelance writing job that pays
  7. Read/Keep up with ALL Hyperbole and a Half entries
  8. Do my 5000 piece puzzle
  9. Learn to cook ten new recipes (enchiladas)
  10. Start learning basic Italian
  11. Memorize a poem that isn’t mine
  12. See five plays at OSF
  13. Learn more harmonica

Words, Words, Words

  1. Rework “Twins” script
  2. Write more of “Twinship” and outline how it’ll end
  3. Finish first drafts of two screenplays
  4. Wrap up two short stories
  5. Write and memorize three slam poems
  6. Write a short story
  7. Write a letter to a friend
  8. Start Max Factor screenplay

Getting Around to Finally Doing This

  1. Look into grad schools/programs
  2. Keep room clean all summer
  3. Clean up iTunes
  4. Organize all my files on my computer
  5. Organize both hard drives
  6. Get  drivers license/Get permit renewed
  7. Replace iPhone
  8. Have a garage sale
  9. Have a contest on my Muppet blog
  10. Successfully complete online Web Development course
  11. Successfully complete Philosophy on campus course
  12. Pay off one of my credit cards (or at least get close)
  13. Organize all the folders of saved papers I have
  14. Sort through all magazines
  15. Get ordained online
  16. Listen to (and like) ten new song artists
  17. Paint red bookshelf black
  18. Successfully unpack everything after the move
  19. Have one day a month where I clean/organize the entire apartment

A New Look

  1. Get to goal weight
  2. Workout four or five days a week
  3. Talk to dentist about bleaching teeth
  4. Find yoga/workout videos on netflix
  5. Start running on a regular basis
  6. Get a tattoo
  7. Get haircut