Annoying Profanity Chick.

19 Oct

There’s a girl in my Grammar & Style class who I positively cannot stand.

Now, before I get into this, I’d like to state that there aren’t many people I purposefully dislike. There are people every now and again who I can’t stand, but for no good reason. Their being just displeases me, but because I can accept that me disliking them for no good reason is dumb I usually just keep it to myself. To quote Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” I know there are people out there who dislike me for no real reason, so, y’know, that’s just life.

But then there’s this girl – this girl whose name I don’t even know.

I’ve promptly dubbed her “Annoying Profanity Chick.”

Let me explain.

On the very first day of class, our teacher – who is one of the kindest, most enthusiastic about grammar people you will ever meet – was going over the guidelines to everything we’d accomplish in the course of the next ten weeks. When she got to the subject of the papers we’ll be writing, she went over the rules and what she’ll be looking for in them. Pretty straight forward. She asked if there were any questions, and this one girl two rows away from me raised her hand.

“How do you feel about profanity in our papers?”

This struck me as an odd question. Profanity’s not necessarily something you use in a school paper. I jumped to the conclusion she was a freshman taking command of her opportunity to use profanity as often as humanly possible, seeing as she was no longer in high school.

My teacher smiled and told her that, while not preferable, if the situation called for it, yes, profanity could be acceptable in these papers.

“Good. Because I swear a fucking lot.”

This was when I knew I couldn’t stand her.

Since that first class, I don’t think a single class period has gone by where she hasn’t swore profusely. I’d like to make it clear that I have nothing – abso-fucking-lutely nothing – against swearing. I think profanity is a powerful piece of language, and when used really emphasizes the point you are trying to make. The fact of the matter is, if you’re a long time follower of this blog, then you know that I love to swear. I swear all the goddamn time. In fact, the first paper we wrote in our Grammar & Style class? I said “shit” in it. Twice. And got an A.

Here’s the difference between Annoying Profanity Chick and me. When I use profanity, I use it for a purpose. Back when I was a freshman, sure, I over used profanity a bit. Now I know better. The thing is, this girl? She isn’t a freshman. She’s my age. And it praticularly bothers me because it’s very obvious that my teacher does not approve of an over abundance of swearing, but is too sweet to say anything. It’s not that she’s totally against the act. There was a guy in class last week who called a writer we read an asshole, and she laughed, because by using the language he was pointing out a fact. This girl, however, throws her “fuck”s and “shit”s around like nobody’s business. I know we’re in college now and the great thing about college is you wont get in trouble for keeping your language PC as opposed to high school, but that doesn’t mean you should abuse your power of language.

And, y’know, it’s not even that she does it all the time. If it rolled off her tongue, almost as if it were infused to her everyday vocabulary, it probably wouldn’t bother me. But she throws profanity around as if she’s doing it only to piss everyone off.

Girl, if this is your mission, congratulations. It’s worked.

There are other reasons I’ve grown to dislike her as well, ranging from her responding to people not using correct grammar by saying “I want to stab [them] in the eye with a paperclip” (a direct quote), and the other day we were assigned to a group together and she refused to be productive. Ridiculous.

Profanity is a great way to emphasize a point you are trying to make… when you use it right.

In short, if I make it through the rest of this term without “stabbing her in the eye with a paperclip” I deserve a motherfucking award.

3 Responses to “Annoying Profanity Chick.”

  1. Mathew Scheytt at 9:40 PM #

    That girl scares me.

    • puckrox at 9:46 PM #

      She is literally one of the angriest people I have ever met. I wanted to yell at her in class once. If I ever snap, it’s gonna be her doing.

      • Mathew Scheytt at 2:06 AM #

        When you do snap remember: I was nice to you.

        Also, whenever someone starts a sentence with “____ is literally…” I can’t help but hear it in Rob Lowe’s voice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: