like crazy.

25 Oct

I just watched the film Like Crazy; a film I’ve been dying to see ever since I witnessed the trailer almost a year ago. I knew going into this film it’d be a sad one, and I see now that I was correct in thinking so.

On the one hand, it’s got me bummed because the plot revolved around a long distance relationship. My ex and I were separated for only a summer when we were together, but even in just those three months I allowed the relationship to crumble and crack. So seeing this film depict the struggles of a long distance relationship… Oof. Like a punch in the gut.

On the other hand, this movie has enforced what I already know – that I’m ready to be back in a relationship. A part of me doesn’t want to make the effort, since I know I’ll be out of Ashland in eight months. Also, I seem to have forgotten how to do this whole thing. Dating. Asking guys out. Flirting. That whole spiel. I’ve just drawn so much into myself that the idea of me approaching a guy seems… unimaginable. It doesn’t help that there isn’t anyone in my life I’d like to be with either. At this point though, I wouldn’t mind a short lived relationship. A “fling,” as it were. If I could just have someone, for the remainder of the school year, to hold my hand during the day and hold me in his arms at night, that would be perfectly lovely. It’s just been so long since I’ve felt that crazy amount of energy and passion when you meet eyes or your fingertips touch. I miss romance. I miss passion. I miss putting my heart out on the line, but it’s been broken so many times that I’m scared to put it out there again. There’s so much I want though.

I just wish someone would see me.

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