Tag Archives: beauty

finding hope in a shaken day.

7 May

Some people might’ve noticed a trend in my Facebook statuses and tweets today. Here are a couple examples of what they entailed:

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I can’t reiterate how beautiful and wonderful life is, & I hope that a friend of mine realizes that today instead of doing something drastic

If anyone ever needs a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to, please, never hesitate. I am a great listener and am always here for you

I am so goddamn relieved. Still shaken from the events of today, but very relieved

–*-

Today a friend of mine posted on his tumblr that he was going to end his life. He had posted his phone number a couple weeks ago, so I dug through his old entries to find it. I called him up, but there was no response, so I left him a message pleading not to do what he said he was going to do. I cried and was at a loss for words, consistently apologizing to him for not knowing what to say, but still hoping I was getting the point across to him. I’ve known for a while how unhappy he is, but sometimes we’re not truly aware until something like this happens, which is extremely unfortunate.

I spent the majority of my day keeping myself busy with homework (which didn’t really work) and staying in contact with another friend of mine. Neither she nor I have ever met our troubled friend, and I’ve never met her either, but they’re both a part of my Muppet family so they matter a great deal to me.

People committing suicide is a foreign concept to me. I’ve never known anyone to actually go through with it, and I’ve never really been confronted with a person who’s expressed great interest in taking their life. I’ve gleaned things from television, books, and movies, but those aren’t real life; this was. The only real experience I have with suicide is with… well, myself. Now I’ve never done any harm to myself, readers, and I’m obviously still here, so put your mind at ease, but there was a point in my life where the thought of suicide weighed heavily on me. I was very young and had lost my mother, something no thirteen year old should ever have to go through. I never voiced this to my father or my closest friends at the time, because I was afraid of how they’d react.

That was almost nine years ago. I’ve never had a single suicidal thought since that time, but the memory of how abhorrently depressed I was still lingers in the back of my mind. It’s a scary thing to remember. Nowadays I can’t even imagine wanting to end my life. It’s not a perfect life and I do spend quite a lot of time moping/being sad/whatever, but this is my life and I only get one shot.

I found out about an hour ago that my friend is okay. He’s gonna see someone to help him through this depression, and I’m relieved beyond relieved.

After I found out his status I went on a run. I wanted to give myself a chance to work off the stress of the day, clear my head, and move on from this event. On my run I contemplated a lot of things about my life. I’ve been doing that a lot this school year. Last September I rewatched the movie Ferris Bueller, and it’s really stuck with me. Today reinforced a lot of thoughts I’ve been having since I rewatched that film last September, and it just made me ask myself the same questions I’ve been asking myself for months. Why don’t I ever skip school to have fabulous days of adventure? Why do I care so much about what others think? Why don’t I just tell the boy I like that I like him? Why do I let myself get bogged down with things that don’t matter?

Life is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing. It’s cliché, but it’s true. We only get one, and we should live it how we want to live it. I want to be the friend people can come to when they’re depressed. I want to write and read and love and laugh and eat and be happy. I want to find joy in everything. I want to breathe. I want to feel my heart race, but only out of excitement, not like today when I was on the phone and I felt my heart banging in my ribcage because my friend wasn’t picking up.

Life can be extraordinary, but only when we let the things that don’t matter go and start living each day as if it’s something not to be taken lightly.

Only then can life be wonderful.

Music to Help Find the Beauty in Life

26 Jan

So, like most people in this world, I love sad songs. Songs that bring tears to my eyes, songs I can heavily relate to, songs that I can listen to when I’m already having a bad day. We, as a people, like songs that let us emote with them.

That being said, I don’t think there are enough songs out there about beauty. No, not the beauty of a woman or the beauty of love, but the beauty of the world. The beauty of life. Songs that make you stop dead in your track, ponder the lyrics, and say to yourself “Why yes, I am rather grateful for this life I’ve been given.”

So I composed a list of ten songs I think best do a job of this. I did it really rapidly in my Young Adult Fiction class, so I’m sure I’m forgetting a song or two, but whatever. This is what I came up with:

1. Beauty – Starship

We don’t got
Any kind of worries
Our way of life is laissez-faire
No wealth, no poor, no hypocrisy
Just beauty
Beauty everywhere

Yes, Starship, the Starkid production from last year. I think this song is absolutely gorgeous. It builds up this world where anything and everything is considered beautiful, and, sure, it’s a world made up entirely of bugs, but I think that drives the point home even more. They don’t have materialistic wants or needs; they’re simply happy doing the jobs they are assigned and living their life out in peace.

2. Good Morning, Baltimore –Hairspray

Good morning Baltimore
Every day’s like an open door
Every night is a fantasy
Every sound’s like a symphony

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t listened to this song in probably over two years now. Nonetheless, it’s still a great song. Baltimore’s not exactly known for it’s – erm – cleanliness, but even so Tracey’s able to find beauty in everything from “the rats on the street” to the sketchy people around her. It’s just a very uplifting song.

3. Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

This one touches much more on the beauty of life. I just love the idea that in presents. We may be alone now, but that’s just because the person we’re going to spend the rest of our life with hasn’t been acquainted with us. Not just yet. But this idea that everyone has someone who they just haven’t met yet? Fucking beautiful.

4. Beautiful Ride – Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

It’s about the good walk
And the hard walk
And the young girls you’ve made cry
It’s about make a little music everyday ‘til you die
It’s a beautiful ride

Yes, we’re talking about the Judd Apatow film that flopped at box offices several years back. Thanks to my best friend, Nick, I have seen this movie more times than I can count. That being said, the movie ends with this and, quite honestly, it’s actually a really beautiful song. This may be hard to pick up on whilst watching the movie, but if you have the soundtrack (like me…guilty as charged), then you’re bound to pick up on this fact. The lyrics are lovely. Simple, maybe, but beautiful. It depicts how materialistic needs can never hold a candle to the time you spend with your family and friends, and also “loving yourself”…”but not only yourself.” And, in the end, it’s about everything you achieve. Life is, simply a beautiful ride.

5. Life’s A Happy Song – The Muppets

Everything’s great
Everything’s grand
I’ve got the whole wide world
In the palm of my hand

Don’t act like you’re surprised a Muppet song made it onto this list.

I shouldn’t have to explain why this song is about appreciating life; the title really says it all. Life’s a happy song, and “we’ve got everything that we need, we can be whatever we want to be.” It’s such a lovely message.

6. Beautiful World – Colin Hay

And still this emptiness persists
Perhaps this is as good as it gets
When you’ve given up the drink and those nasty cigarettes
Now I leave the party early at least with no regrets
I watch the sun as it comes up I watch it as it sets
Yeah this is as good as it gets.

This has always been one of my favorite Colin Hay songs. It just describes some beautiful moments in life. Swimming in the sea, driving in your car, drinking tea, making love, and so on. It’s got a really gorgeous tune to it.

7. Twenty Something – Kerrigan & Lowdermilk

This is it. This is what’s hot.
It’s your moment. It’s your decade.
But you’re only twenty-something til you’re not.

This one applies more to my generation than others, at this point in time. “Twenty Something” is about being a twenty something year old and having so many opportunities open to us. The world is our oyster; we can accomplish anything.

8. Follow Me – Fraggle Rock

Everyday the world begins again
Sunny skies or rain
Come and follow me
Every sunrise shows me more and more
So much to explore
Come and follow me

Yes, I am, in fact, listing a Fraggle Rock song. Not too much to say on this song, it really just reinforces the idea that everyday is a new beginning and a chance at a new adventure.

9. The Beauty Is – Light in the Piazza

I don’t understand a word they’re saying,
I’m as different here as different can be.
But the beauty is I still meet people like me.

Okay, so maybe this one specifically made the list because I’m going to be going to Italy in two months, but there’s more to it, I swear. This song’s all about the beauty you find when going to a different place you’ve never been to and still being able to make these connections with the people there. It focuses on the beauty of how, no matter where you go, people are all the same. The end of the song is really my favorite part: “And the beauty is, when you realize, when you realize, someone could be looking for a someone like you.” It really ties more in with what’s going on in the show than with the rest of the song, but still, it’s lovely.

10. Being Alive – Company

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.

This, to me, has been the most beautiful song since I first heard it back during high school. It’s all about coming to that realization that we need people in our life, and that we can’t do it alone. We need other people to “make [us] alive”, even if it is being “used” and being “put through hell”. It reminds us of the beauty of lie and the beauty of making those connections with those around us, because, in the end, there is nothing more beautiful than being alive.

Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I’ll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!