Tag Archives: friends

I’ll Be Home For Christmas.

9 Dec

Recently I’ve been trying hard to be content with the moment; to live in it. We so often get wrapped up in what’s to come that we forget to take a moment to ourselves, which is why I’ve tried so hard to not over anticipate the future, but to, instead, appreciate the present.

That being said, I’m so glad it’s time to head up to Portland for Christmas break.

It’s been a rough couple of months, both emotionally and school-wise, but I have no doubt that this holiday season’s gonna be a good end to a really “meh” year. I’ve already made plans with friends, such as doing the Santa-Con pub crawl for a second time, visiting the new aquarium, seeing The Mountain Goats in concert, going out for drinks, playing Nancy Drew video games, something to do with cheesecake, and going to the midnight premiere of The Hobbit and feeding the flame that is my Bofu obsession with a group of good friends.

Then there will be the time I get to spend with my family. I’ve already made plans to spend an afternoon with my little cousins, who I barely ever get to see, as well as spending Christmas night with the entirety of my mom’s side of the family. Then there will be the much needed time spent with my dad and brother decorating the house. My family’s plum crazy about Christmas, and turning our home into a Winter Wonderland is always a highlight of the holiday season for me. I also made my dad promise we’d go see Les Miserables on Christmas day, so there’s something else to look forward to.

I’m hoping I wont be my usual lazy self when I go up north this year. I’m not planning on a holiday diet or anything, I’m just hoping that I can drag my sorry ass out of bed and go out running a couple mornings each week, as I normally do. Maybe spend a little less time in front of the TV and computer as well. And, okay, maybe try to watch my cookie and fudge intake, as it normally does go up around this time of year.

The holidays are just such a joyous time of the year. Being with friends and family, exchanging gifts, going out and having fun – gah – I love it.

As I sit here, sipping the coffee my boss got me from Morning Glory next door, I can’t help but think how this is my last Christmas break. The last time I’m gonna have to pack a suitcase for two weeks to head back up to Portland. The last time that sense of relief washes over me as finals draw to an end. This time next year I’ll be graduated, most likely jobless, and already living back at home with my dad. Will my family be driving me crazy at that point? Will I spend the holidays next year cooped up in my room on my laptop? Will this month mean the same thing as it always has in the past? This time of year, while certainly about the holidays and spending time with loved ones, has always been sort of break from real life, since it’s when school ends for a short amount of time and I don’t feel bad about shirking my to do list off for a couple weeks. I can’t help but wonder where I’ll be a year from now, and what state of mind I’ll be in. I guess only time will tell.

But for now? For now I’m utterly grateful for this winter season and a chance to head back home. I have only the highest hopes that the next 2.5 weeks will be a joy to behold, and I plan to treasure every moment.

photo(2)

happy days are here again.

18 Nov

This school term’s been a little trying for me… well, okay, more than a little trying.

While the work load hasn’t been much different from term’s past, the fact that I’m going through some serious Senior-itis has made it pretty unbearable. Not to mention I’ve been dealing with a three month long existential crisis (something I’ve never truly experienced before) and it has not been going very well. Notice my lack of entries on here? Yeah. Blame the existential crisis.

But I’ve been doing a lot better recently. Nick came back into town (thank the powers that be), so I’ve actually been getting out of the house. This last Wednesday was the best. I didn’t have work and all my classes were canceled (save one, but I skipped it), so Nick and I hung around the apartment for a bit and then went on a three hour walk all around Ashland. It was just the thing I needed to pick my spirits up. Three of my classes were canceled last week, and two are canceled this week (and then Thanksgiving happens) so I’ve had a lot more free time. Meaning? I’m currently way ahead on all my homework, and with the exception of two projects I’m basically set until after Thanksgiving. This is the first time all term that I haven’t felt incredibly bogged down by homework. It’s pretty wonderful.

Today’s been a great day though. It’s one of the few days all term where I haven’t felt down in the dumps about things that are far out of my control. I went to Starbucks and finished going through the second half of a hard copy of my screenplay, and when I finished that earlier than expected I went around and got some early Christmas shopping done. I bought all my gifts for three friends and a couple for my dad, leaving just one more friend, my brother, my five little cousins, and a few more things for my dad. I figure I’ll wrap up the rest of my Christmas shopping once Thanksgiving is over. I’d really like to get most of my Christmas shopping done early this year, so I don’t have to fret about running around and getting it done the week before. (Well, except for Anthony. Dad and I tend to go out and get his gifts together, so I’ll take care of that one later.)

My dad called me up and told me that he liked my Pumpkin Snickerdoodles so much that he’d like me to make them for Thanksgiving. Is it silly that I’m proud over that? This is the first time I’ll actually making something on my own for the family to eat when they’re together. I did tell my dad that instead of watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year I want to help him make food, so I guess this is a step in the right direction.

Otherwise, yeah! Today’s been good. My first really good day this term, if you don’t count the couple days I’ve spent with Nick since he got back in town. I think it helps that this term is coming to a close. Plus I’ve been eating pretty healthily and found a new way to do my hair, which sounds silly, but it’s been a while since I’ve had a positive thought about my appearance, so that’s nice. Friends are also a good thing. I’m probably gonna see Nate the Friday after Thanksgiving, then go out for drinks with Kathleen that night. I can’t wait for Christmas break. I’m hoping to spend a lot of time with friends and relish in the Holiday Season.

The moral of this story is that Christmas time makes everything better because it’s my favorite time of the year.

some reasons I am happy.

17 Aug

— I started writing for the web-site Buzz Patrol yesterday. Today I wrote five articles for the site in one sitting, and I am getting paid per article.

— I officially can fit in a pair of size six pants for the first time since, Jesus, I don’t even know when.

— The adorable backpack and shirt I ordered came in the mail.

— I’ve only got ten more episodes until I’m done watching the entirety of The Muppet Show in under two weeks.

— My online Web Development course is complete, at long last!

— Grabbing coffee with Beckah tomorrow morning.

— I’m probably gonna go see Ruby Sparks on Sunday, either by myself or with Martin.

— Tomorrow I’m finally going to be through with my first draft of Obsessed, my screenplay, and then I’ll send it on it’s way to Aileen to be read.

— I’m going to start working on my next Cool Gizmo Toys featured article tonight.

— An associate producer over at the Don Bluth company read my wordpress entry on The Secret of Nimh and liked it.

— I went grocery shopping today and am all set on food until my next paycheck.

— My security deposit check from my last house is on its way in the mail.

— Hamburger for dinner, then a late night run once I get off of work.

A Fine Day of Fine Things

5 Aug

A couple incredibly wonderful things about my day:

— Today I sat down in a Starbucks, listened to the song “Yer Spring” by Hey Rosetta! for five hours on repeat, and finish my screenplay that I’ve been working on for two years now. I mean, it’s far from being done. I need to go back and write those three or four scenes that I said “Meh, I’ll come back and write these later” because I was too lazy at the time. After that, I’m gonna have a friend take a look at the whole thing, and once I get her feedback I’m gonna delve in. There are over 200 pages, which is far too long for a movie (or, at least, this kind of movie) so many cuts are going to have to be made, probably a plot point or two as well. Shitty dialogue is going to have to be rewritten, shitty characters are going to have to be reconfigured, and shitty plot lines are either going to have to be rethoughtout or dropped entirely. Even still, keeping all this mind, I still could not stop myself from shaking as I stared at my computer screen after I had typed the last words of my screenplay. It’s so close, guys. My baby’s almost complete.

— Martin and I watched last week’s and then this week’s episode of Breaking Bad while eating pizza and cookie dough. It was kind of perfect and an accumulation of everything summer should be (all we were missing was alcohol).

— I went on a 10:30pm run. After my run, I wrote this email to Tom Wilson (Biff of Back to the Future fame):

So, I hate running, but for some reason I agreed to do a 5K with a friend at the end of this upcoming September (I’m certain I agreed under the pretense of thinking how cool it would be to say I had run a 5K). Precisely ten minutes after agreeing to do said 5K I realized “Oh hell, this means I actually have to start running to prep” which is basically what I’ve been doing ever since. Let me tell you, I don’t think running would be half as bearable if it weren’t for your podcast, good sir. Your stories and interviews keep a smile on my face the entire time I run. The longer episodes are perfect because not only do they last through my entire run, but by the time I get home I still have some podcast left over to listen to as I lie sprawled out on the floor feeling like a truck ran over my legs. So thank you. I honestly never thought I’d be running at midnight contemplating how the pepper spray my roommate forced me to take looks a lot like a tiny dildo as a homeless man waves at me on a bike whilst listening to you serenade me about homonyms, but life is full of funny scenarios like that. Your podcast is a delight. Keep up the amazing work!

Yup. A great day. Here’s what the next couple days have in store:

  • Monday: Early morning breakfast with Valerie and her family and then photo shoots with Kaylyn and company
  • Tuesday: Writing group meeting! At last!
  • Wednesday: Muppet viewing party with Beckah

A Sad Morning // A Glorious Evening

17 Jul

morning.

I cried for all fifty pages, but this line, this one line:

Oh crucified Christ, Rudy…

I don’t remember the last time I sobbed so hard and so long. I hugged that book close to my person with one hand, the other nudging my glasses up to my forehead in order to cover my eyes as I wailed. I sobbed for the duration of the book, while I finished it, curled up under the embrace of my comforter.

A beautiful book.

But Christ. My heart.

——-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/——-

evening.

Awkward beginnings it would seem, but it picked up right away once more were added to the mixture.

So many smiles, unbelieving that there is finally contact; a face to the text. Jokes are made about chatroom ghosts, drinking games, and twinkies that shoot laser beams. We talk and laugh; we laugh and talk. A glorious, glorious evening amidst friends.

Too bad none of us reside in the same state.

Thankful for Friends, Muppets, and a Huge Pile of Socks

16 Jul

In the past I’ve gone on and on and on and on about my love of Muppet fans, so by now it should be well known that my love for this fan community is ginormous. Muppet fans surpass all other fans, which I doubt the world will ever truly recognize. They are considerate, loving, silly, hilarious, understanding, and wonderful. Because the source of their obsession (Muppets/Sesame/Fraggles) promotes love and compassion and unity, it is in turn what the fans practice on a day-to-day basis, making them some of the most genuine people you will ever meet. They are, indeed, all around wonderful.

But today, let’s cut the schmaltz and just say it.

I fucking love my Muppet friends.

I’m not a speechless person. Well, okay, in person I tend to be tongue tied and quiet and incredibly awkward, but in writing I never have any problem expressing my thoughts and feelings; however, when it comes to my friends from Tough Pigs, along with my several Muppety friends from Muppet Central and Tumblr… I’m just speechless. I truly don’t even know how to begin to express my gratitude and love for this amazing group of people.

This last month’s been kind of rough on me. I moved into a new apartment for the first time without my roommate of the last four years, I sent my cat 200+  miles away to go live with my dad (don’t laugh, I miss her), I got to deal with my first ever issue of identity fraud, and I had to say goodbye to many a graduated friend. Most of all, my best friend on this planet moved away to Spain, which has brought me incredibly down in mood as of late. I’ve gone through a lot of change, and change is always a really scary thing for me, so I’ve been, frankly, very sad recently. Sad and lonely. I keep most of that in, but it’s been something that’s been persistently there. It’ll get better soon, this I know, but for the time being it’s hard to not be consistently bummed out.

Then you guys swoop in a pull a stunt like this.

When the first package came in the mail several weeks back, I was bewildered. It resulted in me screaming “HOW DID JUSTIN GET MY NEW MAILING ADDRESS???” and flailing about my apartment in confusion. It wasn’t until I got Carolyn’s package next that I began to understand what was going on and how this was all possible, and instantly began to cry. No group of friends has ever done something like this for me, which is why it so truly touched my heart. While the rest of the world may see this whole process as me receiving packages of socks, I see it as a gesture of great kindness and friendship. Of course, upon receiving these packages I remembered making an off hand comment once a couple months ago about how I never get socks for Christmas or birthdays, and when I wrote it on the forums I really thought nothing of it. Then one of you (you know who you are, you amazing, wonderful person) put this together for me, and it just… honestly, I’m teary just writing this. I feel absurd getting overtly emotional, but I truly cannot help myself. This is the nicest thing a group of people has ever done for me.

Here’s a picture of me sitting with all my booty while trying to convey my immense amount of gratitude in my facial region:

I was talking to Justin (Tonglet) over IM when this all first started happening, and I wrote to him, “Ugh. You all are such stellar people. I can’t even handle it.” I really can’t begin to describe how truly lucky I feel having you all in my life.

I was on Muppet Central for about a year, and while I did take away some friends from the site (whom I adore very much), MC Forums was, to me, lacking in the camaraderie department and seemed to spark one too many arguments amongst the users for my personal liking. So I took a deep breath and made the switch to Tough Pigs. When I first joined up with Tough Pigs back in December I was beyond intimidated. I mean, it took me forever to understand the format of Delphi (curse you, Delphi!!!), and secondly, here was this amazing group of people with all these inside jokes who had known each other for years. How was I gonna fit in? Me, who’s not witty or punny. Who isn’t brave or outgoing. How was I gonna remember all these names and keep up? How was anyone ever gonna notice shy, awkward me? And yet, somehow, you invited me into the family with open arms and made me one of your own. I remember in the first week someone told me “You’re gonna fit in just fine” and how I swelled with pride at this notion. I’ve always felt out of place in this world. I haven’t felt part of an actual group since middle school. Since then, while I’ve always had my closes friends and been part of quiet a few groups, I’ve just felt like I’ve been drifting from group to group, never having one to truly plant my feet in. You guys, though. With you guys I feel like I’m one of you. You guys have taken this year and turned it on its head. I can’t even fathom not being on Tough Pigs eight months ago; that’s such a foreign concept to me now.

And what a year its been. I’ve met up with Carolyn twice (for Muppets and puppets!), I’ve had many a pleasant chat with the majority of you, I’ve gained a drunk texting bud (Dosierrrr), plans of visiting one of you for a Disneyland trip were discussed a while back (and should be discussed again sometime in the near future), I’ve geeked out over TV and movies with you all, I’ve been introduced to new bands and music, and I even got to write a Tough Pigs article of my very own (with another on the way). And then there were the socks. All thirty-one pairs of them. Not to mention some other fabulous gifts… Gah. You guys.

The most frustrating part of all this is that I can’t come up with any way for you all to know the depths of my gratitude. All I can really do is say thank you. So.

Thank you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you all for being so wonderful, so ingenious, so insightful, so amazing. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile pretty much everyday. Thank you for being silly, crazy, funny, random, witty, punny, and fucking incredible. Thank you all for being such wonderful friends and such stellar people. Thank you to everyone who sent me something in the mail. Thank you to everyone who sent me something in the mail that never reached me (I’m still greatly moved). Special thanks to Martha, who I know is the true master mind behind all of this. And not just thank you to the people who participated in my birthday surprise. Thank you to all my wonderful friends that I’ve made through our similar Muppet adoration; whether we met through Tough Pigs, Tumblr, MC Forums, Twitter, Facebook, whatever. What started as a mutual love for a fandom has grown into something far more precious and much more important. I so look forward to the many years to come with you all in my life, hopefully getting the chance to meet up with most of you, and please always know just how much I treasure you as people, comrades, and friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you all.

And trust me when I say, from now on, I’ll be careful what I wish for.

The problem with summer…

10 Jul

I told myself I’d write on here once every day this summer, and so far I’ve done a pretty decent job living up to that promise (well, okay, except for when I was up in Portland and didn’t write for about a week, but I was super busy seeing people and doing things and blah blah blah blah blah). Now that I’m back in Ashland I actually have time to sit down and write entire well thought out blog entries. My only problem?

I’ve got nothing to write about.

My last couple summers have all been super low key. I’ve stayed in Ashland, working at whatever job I’ve had (currently I’m still holding down my gig as the motel front desk clerk, plus a side job babysitting/helping out at a B&B). There are always less people around during summer to hang out with, since most people have gone on home to be with family, but this summer it’s even worse. A lot of the friends I have who normally stuck around in Ashland for summer in the past have flown the coop and graduated. Not to mention my roommate just took off today for the next two weeks (she never comes out of her room anyway, but still, the apartment feels even more empty), and the few friends I do have around who I’ve suggested we hang out to haven’t gotten back to me. I’m basically setting myself up for a frightfully lonely summer.

Looking at the last six days since I returned to Ashland, I have literally only left my apartment to: go to work, go running, and to go pick up my laptop from Best Buy. Not counting all the customers I see at my front desk job, I have interacted with exactly thirteen people in person, and one of them was a baby.

Don’t get me wrong, I love having me time. I love lazing around reading The Book Thief, rewatching old Frasier episodes, getting a chance to write, and so on, but I am only human. It’s getting to the point that I’m starting to crave human interaction, and the people I interact with at work just frankly are not cutting it.

This is a rather bland, boring, whinny blog entry, so I’ll cut it off before it drags on any further. I just really hope summer starts to pick up soon. As much as graduating scares me, I’m glad this is my last summer in Ashland. I’m ready to move on to bigger and better things. Anyway, once I’m all unpacked at my new apartment and finally completely settled, maybe I’ll be able to invite people over for a get together or something. A friend did offer for me to come visit him down in LA and maybe even take a trip to Disneyland for a day, so that might have to be something that happens sometime soon. I guess we’ll see.