Tag Archives: past

the boy from my past.

25 May

It’s strange to be stuck in a memory of something that never even happened. It could’ve happened, once, a while ago, but we missed our chance. Now all it has become is a missed opprotunity; a constant game of relationship tag. And that’s all right. We never would have worked, you and I. I know we’ve thought otherwise at other times, but I think we were always wrong. You would’ve driven me crazy. I would’ve wanted to take things slower than you’d have wanted. We wanted different things. In the end, we wouldn’t have meshed. Maybe it’s a good thing everytime there’s been potential for us our timing has been off. Maybe it’s a good thing you found your other half and I’ve moved on. Maybe it’s a good thing the only kiss we ever shared was in the presence of a room filled with other people, all their eyes watching.

But I think we would’ve made each other happy, even if it was only for a short while.

Maybe.

From a hundred miles an hour to zero in less than a second.

6 Feb

There’s always this moment – a breath – this unhinged microsecond where I am free from absolutely every thought I’ve ever had of you. In this moment, this one, brief, blissful moment, I am happy. Content. Satisfied. Rejuvenated. Alive. I’m in control, I couldn’t care less about the things of my past, and I am just me. Purely and simply. But it never lasts, because you suddenly bring me back to what I went through – never me, it is always you bringing me back to page one – and it always ends with me wanting to fall to pieces. I can still remember how broken you left me. Broken, broken, broken girl in a dismal, fragile, lonely world.

I had a really good day today, but one word from you about our past and my world goes to shit. So I hope this is it. I hope that we are going to make amends and finally put it behind us because, honestly, I’m tired of feeling like this.

This is why I am so much better off alone.