Tag Archives: Starkid

I Want Much More Than This Provintial Life

19 Feb

About a week or so ago I finally watched the Buffy episode of  “Once More With Feeling”. I had seen it before in high school, but it had made no sense to me back then. Well, none of the songs really stuck in my mind upon viewing it this time around, so I went on and didn’t even bother to relisten to any of them… or, at least, I thought none of them stuck.

Today I was sitting in my room when suddenly one of the songs came back to me. The opening one that Buffy sings as she’s killing vamps, entitled: “Going Through the Motions”. So I caved, pulled it up on youtube, and relistened to it. It proved to be much catchier than the first time I heard it (I think because it was the first song of the episode and I was too busy being shocked to fully listen to it, since I had assumed OMWF happened in season seven and was surprised because I was still in season six). The song was short, so I hit replay, but close to the ending of my second listen some of the words struck a chord. So I played it for a third time.

Every single night the same arrangement,
I go out and fight the fight.
Still I always feel the strangest strangement,
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.

I’ve been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows
That I’ve been going through the motions,
Walking through the part.
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart.

This freaked me out a bit, because I know exactly what Buffy’s talking about. Well, not in the same context, obviously, seeing as I haven’t died or anything. But most recently I’ve found I’ve been just, well, going through the motions. Getting up, going to school, going to work, going home. Rinse and repeat. Every day. I don’t hang out with anyone, I never go out, I never do anything fun. A fun weekend used to be hanging out with friends or going to a party, now a fun weekend is managing to get my homework done so I can have time to watch more TV. And I purposefully try to make sure that friends don’t see this about me. I don’t want them to know I’m going through the motions. Everyone else has things going on in their life, so why should I bother them with my angst-felt shit?

In the past year I have begun to connect tremendously with songs where characters express their absolute disdain for their current status in life. Songs like “Life” from Starship, “Something Better” from Muppet Treasure Island, and “Belle (reprise)” from Beauty and the Beast (I know, I listen to a really mature selection of music, right?). Certain lines stick out to me. Lines like “And I know this life I’m living can’t be my destiny, there’s got to be something better, something better, there’s gotta be something better than this for me” from Treasure Island was my mantra during January of 2011. Then when I discovered Starship last summer the line that struck me most was: “I need a way out, I need an escape, I’d rather be dead than to live in this place. I wish that something or someone could just take it all away. Someone take me away.” I mean, what does that say about me?

I just… don’t want to be in this town anymore. I’m no longer happy here. I’m rarely happy nowadays. I never see any of my friends. It feels like everyone’s matured and moved on, and I’m just stuck in this rut. It kills me that I’m going to be here for a fifth year. A piece of me wishes I was getting out this year, because, Jesus, I want to be out. I want to work on movies, live in New York, work for Muppet Studios, fall in love, get married, have kids, write a novel, and live. I’m done with school. Not literally, but I feel like I’m done. I want to travel, date people who aren’t from the SOU theatre department, and… well, I guess Buffy Summers puts it best:

Will I stay this way forever?
Sleep walk through my life’s endeavor.
I don’t want to be
Going through the motions,
Losing all my drive.
I can’t even see if this is really me
And I just want to be alive.

When do I get to start feeling alive?

Music to Help Find the Beauty in Life

26 Jan

So, like most people in this world, I love sad songs. Songs that bring tears to my eyes, songs I can heavily relate to, songs that I can listen to when I’m already having a bad day. We, as a people, like songs that let us emote with them.

That being said, I don’t think there are enough songs out there about beauty. No, not the beauty of a woman or the beauty of love, but the beauty of the world. The beauty of life. Songs that make you stop dead in your track, ponder the lyrics, and say to yourself “Why yes, I am rather grateful for this life I’ve been given.”

So I composed a list of ten songs I think best do a job of this. I did it really rapidly in my Young Adult Fiction class, so I’m sure I’m forgetting a song or two, but whatever. This is what I came up with:

1. Beauty – Starship

We don’t got
Any kind of worries
Our way of life is laissez-faire
No wealth, no poor, no hypocrisy
Just beauty
Beauty everywhere

Yes, Starship, the Starkid production from last year. I think this song is absolutely gorgeous. It builds up this world where anything and everything is considered beautiful, and, sure, it’s a world made up entirely of bugs, but I think that drives the point home even more. They don’t have materialistic wants or needs; they’re simply happy doing the jobs they are assigned and living their life out in peace.

2. Good Morning, Baltimore –Hairspray

Good morning Baltimore
Every day’s like an open door
Every night is a fantasy
Every sound’s like a symphony

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t listened to this song in probably over two years now. Nonetheless, it’s still a great song. Baltimore’s not exactly known for it’s – erm – cleanliness, but even so Tracey’s able to find beauty in everything from “the rats on the street” to the sketchy people around her. It’s just a very uplifting song.

3. Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

This one touches much more on the beauty of life. I just love the idea that in presents. We may be alone now, but that’s just because the person we’re going to spend the rest of our life with hasn’t been acquainted with us. Not just yet. But this idea that everyone has someone who they just haven’t met yet? Fucking beautiful.

4. Beautiful Ride – Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

It’s about the good walk
And the hard walk
And the young girls you’ve made cry
It’s about make a little music everyday ‘til you die
It’s a beautiful ride

Yes, we’re talking about the Judd Apatow film that flopped at box offices several years back. Thanks to my best friend, Nick, I have seen this movie more times than I can count. That being said, the movie ends with this and, quite honestly, it’s actually a really beautiful song. This may be hard to pick up on whilst watching the movie, but if you have the soundtrack (like me…guilty as charged), then you’re bound to pick up on this fact. The lyrics are lovely. Simple, maybe, but beautiful. It depicts how materialistic needs can never hold a candle to the time you spend with your family and friends, and also “loving yourself”…”but not only yourself.” And, in the end, it’s about everything you achieve. Life is, simply a beautiful ride.

5. Life’s A Happy Song – The Muppets

Everything’s great
Everything’s grand
I’ve got the whole wide world
In the palm of my hand

Don’t act like you’re surprised a Muppet song made it onto this list.

I shouldn’t have to explain why this song is about appreciating life; the title really says it all. Life’s a happy song, and “we’ve got everything that we need, we can be whatever we want to be.” It’s such a lovely message.

6. Beautiful World – Colin Hay

And still this emptiness persists
Perhaps this is as good as it gets
When you’ve given up the drink and those nasty cigarettes
Now I leave the party early at least with no regrets
I watch the sun as it comes up I watch it as it sets
Yeah this is as good as it gets.

This has always been one of my favorite Colin Hay songs. It just describes some beautiful moments in life. Swimming in the sea, driving in your car, drinking tea, making love, and so on. It’s got a really gorgeous tune to it.

7. Twenty Something – Kerrigan & Lowdermilk

This is it. This is what’s hot.
It’s your moment. It’s your decade.
But you’re only twenty-something til you’re not.

This one applies more to my generation than others, at this point in time. “Twenty Something” is about being a twenty something year old and having so many opportunities open to us. The world is our oyster; we can accomplish anything.

8. Follow Me – Fraggle Rock

Everyday the world begins again
Sunny skies or rain
Come and follow me
Every sunrise shows me more and more
So much to explore
Come and follow me

Yes, I am, in fact, listing a Fraggle Rock song. Not too much to say on this song, it really just reinforces the idea that everyday is a new beginning and a chance at a new adventure.

9. The Beauty Is – Light in the Piazza

I don’t understand a word they’re saying,
I’m as different here as different can be.
But the beauty is I still meet people like me.

Okay, so maybe this one specifically made the list because I’m going to be going to Italy in two months, but there’s more to it, I swear. This song’s all about the beauty you find when going to a different place you’ve never been to and still being able to make these connections with the people there. It focuses on the beauty of how, no matter where you go, people are all the same. The end of the song is really my favorite part: “And the beauty is, when you realize, when you realize, someone could be looking for a someone like you.” It really ties more in with what’s going on in the show than with the rest of the song, but still, it’s lovely.

10. Being Alive – Company

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.

This, to me, has been the most beautiful song since I first heard it back during high school. It’s all about coming to that realization that we need people in our life, and that we can’t do it alone. We need other people to “make [us] alive”, even if it is being “used” and being “put through hell”. It reminds us of the beauty of lie and the beauty of making those connections with those around us, because, in the end, there is nothing more beautiful than being alive.

Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I’ll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!